Roller-coasters have got nothing on waking up. After reading countless online articles, watching endless Youtube documentaries, reading books like a crazy person, you have to just stop and take a breath. You get pulled in 20 different directions and end up on the verge of total emotional collapse with the enormity of everything that's going on.
One thing I've discovered, is that I'm not having much fun. Well that sucks. One benefit of staying completely oblivious to your surroundings and predicament is that ignorance is bliss! You can go out, have parties, go away, eat, love, live and pray with gay abandon, without a care in the world, feel the breeze on your face and just think "man, life is good". I haven't had that for a really long time now that I think about it.
It's hard to have fun when you've started to see how the world fits together; how people are needlessly suffering; how our environment is being destroyed; how your friends and family are so sucked into the system and so far from getting out of it. Realising that some people don't actually want to be woken up thank you very much, that they are quite happy where they are. It always comes down to one thing - you can't change the world, you can only change yourself : 'May I find the grace to accept the things that cannot be changed, the courage to change the things which should be, and the wisdom to know the difference'. And have some fun in the process please!!!
I've also noticed that I am always stuck on negative thoughts - even more so since I really started waking up. (And you thought I was such a positive person). Yet it's really really hard to find positive things to say, but it's so important to get to that place; for my own sanity, never mind anyone else's. All the research just paints a picture of doom and gloom and I guess that's part of the process. We are so desensitized to violence now that things have to be really shocking before we take notice.
Once you've done all the research, and see what these evil corporations are actually doing to us, it's time to move on and just find a peaceful alternative. It's awfully tempting to want to just walk away and I think many people do because it's just so overwhelming. We can't do that - I can't do that. I feel like I've wasted my life until now, it makes me kinda sad really (and angry!).
It's not too late though; I can change things, and I plan to. It's time to conquer my fears and move forward. The only place to find peace, answers and your own truth, is to look inside yourself. That will be my next challenge; to really go within so I don't go without. It's a very scary thing....
I've also noticed that I am always stuck on negative thoughts - even more so since I really started waking up. (And you thought I was such a positive person). Yet it's really really hard to find positive things to say, but it's so important to get to that place; for my own sanity, never mind anyone else's. All the research just paints a picture of doom and gloom and I guess that's part of the process. We are so desensitized to violence now that things have to be really shocking before we take notice.
Once you've done all the research, and see what these evil corporations are actually doing to us, it's time to move on and just find a peaceful alternative. It's awfully tempting to want to just walk away and I think many people do because it's just so overwhelming. We can't do that - I can't do that. I feel like I've wasted my life until now, it makes me kinda sad really (and angry!).
It's not too late though; I can change things, and I plan to. It's time to conquer my fears and move forward. The only place to find peace, answers and your own truth, is to look inside yourself. That will be my next challenge; to really go within so I don't go without. It's a very scary thing....
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